Factorials and Pahiyaa

Now with the boys having overcome their first hurdle in the big race called education, I have just had my first anxiety attack too....the first of probably many more to come.

Working in a department that mainly consists of women (many of them mothers) often gives me a preview of things to come. I am completely aware of what we will have to face with the boys going to school and I know my limitations. I just didn't know that I had so many!!!

Now, I have made a broad classification of subjects where I can help them and subjects where Lindo will have to pitch in.

My subjects: Anything that doesn't include any equations or laws....and of course, no Hindi and Kannada. I am willing to take up any subject that requires the child just to grasp the concept (biology, geography, history, English...).

Most of you know that I am linguistically challenged when it comes to our national language....yes, I hang my head in shame and confess....I don't speak Hindi. I am much better at understanding now, but that's the extent of it.

Discussing Mathematics taught in primary school really gives me the goosebumps. I hardly know my multiplication tables even now. I get stuck with any mathematic problem and I am convinced that I wasn't taught half the things in school (Sorry my dear Maths teacher). Suddenly during my recent conversation with my colleague conjured the picture of 'n!' in my mind. I tried to explain it to my colleague, but we seemed equally puzzled. I was sure it has something to do with maths....but to no avail.

After asking a few of our colleagues, we came to the conclusion that n! is read 'n factorial'. I know you're thinking "DUH!"...but that was a big news to me. Further probing of colleagues' brains taught me what factorials were all about. Armed with this new found knowledge, I confidantly marched over to Lindo to show off. I asked him, "How do you read n!?" and promptly came the answer.....the correct one, with examples. My decision was made at that moment. Lindo is the one to teach Maths.

The world still holds a few secrets that I have failed to understand. Balancing equations in Chemistry, the complete world of physics and of course, Mathematics....maybe I can learn along with the boys....I can only hope.

P.S. Pahiyaa means 'wheel' in Hindi :))

A for Apple, B for ....

I have been waiting to write this post for quite some time now, but was waiting for "it" to finally happen and when it did, I was just too busy to sit down and write the post.

Finally we have reached the time where we can say that "our boys are going to xyz school". Yes, we have joined the rat race and the boys got admission in a proper school. So far, Tim is attending classes at a Montessori and Nathan is going to a day care at church.

2 weeks back we were informed that the boys were selected to join school and paid the admission fee, thereby ensuring the seats.

The journey till then....

Last year we happened to be too late for admissions....who knew that admissions for the school year that starts in June, got over in Sept/Oct the previous year???? This year we were well prepared and started checking for dates at the school well in advance. But no matter how much on time we were, that itself didn't help them with the admission. 1 list came and their names were not on it.
We gave a letter from the parish because there is supposedly a slight preference for children from our church.....Then came the call for the interview.....I woke up with a bad tummy...i seriously think that I wasn't this tensed for my college admission or even while joining work.
The interviews went as expected. Nathan's standard response for everything was "no" while Tim stayed quiet. The only thing that Nathan did was tell Lindo what the pictures in the book were....but he flatly refused to sing one of those nursery rhymes that he sings all the time. Tim on the other hand, explained the pictures only when we pointed to an apple and asked "That's a banana, right?"....he did count the blocks from 1 to 10 though.

Sure enough, the next list was published and...guess what? They hadn't made it. Another trip to the school and we were asked to call back the next day for a final answer. Another 2 hours.....seriously, I was wary by that time. I started making a mental list of other plans by then because I was losing hope.

The next day, we called and were told "They have been selected, please pay INR X each for admission fee in 2 weeks time". (We supposedly got a 5,000 discount each because we are bringing two children).
Various friends with whom I discussed were of the opinion that we all studied for much, much less than this and did pretty well....but I guess that even our parents must have said the same when they paid our fee....

So here's to education and our children's future. May they make the best out of it.

My elder sister

I think everyone around me has fond memories of summer vacations, spent at their paternal or maternal homes, along with lots of cousins to play with....memories of games and pranks and meals and lazy afternoons.....

Those things did not come easy for me. The fact that I was the 2nd child of the youngest son to my grandparents, and thereby the 26th of 28 cousins didn't help much. I had no one at my same age and my other cousins spent more time with the others since most of them were either 1) too old and had children of their own or 2) all in Bangalore. The only ones around me were my own siblings and I had already spent enough time with them throughout the year. Holidays in India were meant to be spent with the other cousins.

This post is for my cousin....L-Jo, the one I could say I am closest to. No, not J-Lo, but L-Jo. :-)

The very first memory that I have about her is me complaining to her mother, my aunt, that she preferred playing with the other cousins and not with me (I must have been around 6 or younger) and her getting a few beatings to "be nice and play" with me. She still complaints about this to no end. The "games" I wanted to play were simple. We used to wear straw mat sarees. Not that you could wear them like sarees, but then....after the beatings, she'd play pretty much anything I wanted to.


We actually got close after my family settled back in India and she came to spend her summer holidays with us....all 2 months. With no other cousins for her to choose over me....we bonded over never-ending chats at night that lasted till my mother would warn us from the next room. We'd sleep in in the morning, trying to avoid any work my father would surely throw at us.

We enacted scenes from Hindi movies...you know the ones....heroine receives upsetting letter from hero, runs to her room, throws herself on the bed and cries....those ones....This particular scene was repeated a zillion times, running from a 10-15 feet distance and finally landing on our bed.

Finally, when I completed my academics, I moved to the city and stayed with my aunt for 2 years (of which a short stint I stayed in a PG - more about that later). We continued bonding over weekend shopping, evening walks, stories, dumb songs.... We went to GK Vales to get my "proposal photos" taken - those are still hidden and apart from my parents and Lindo, she's the only other person on earth to have seen them. We learned to drape sarees and learned to walk to church in them...we were each other's company on Valentine's day...

For me, she's my big sister cum best friend. Okay, not much of a big sister but the age gap is perfect and we get along so well. If someone was to continuously listen to our conversations, they'd get bored after say 3-4 days. Mainly because we still laugh about the same things, the same stories, the same songs.

Its been a while since I have been in touch, but I remembered her a few days back and missed her lots and I thought I should share this with you all.

Love you L-Jo....God bless everyone with a relative like you.

I was tagged!

Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Toy Story III. It was a surprise for the boys and we all loved it.

What Book Are You Reading:
Just finished reading a German novel called Josephine based on Napolean's wife's life

Favorite Board Game:
Life

Favorite Magazine:
I like reading Prevention and housekeeping mags

Favorite Smells:
The boys after their bath with baby soap and then covered with baby cream.

Favorite Sound:
Silence! With two boys like the ones at home, that is the only sound I miss

Worst Feeling In The World:
Anger in all it forms. Its an ugly feeling.

What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake?
OFFICE!

Favorite Fast Food Place:
Anyplace that feeds me and brings a smile to my face

Favorite Child’s Name:
We named our children accordingly.

Finish This Statement. “If I Had A Lot Of Money I’d…”
Stop worrying about a lot of things and start working on the future that we want to have.

Do You Drive Fast?
No, I don't drive.

Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
I don't, Husband does, I AM the stuffed animal when I sleep after dinner.

Storms-Cool Or Scary?
Totally in love with them. Especially when I am at home in Kerala or in the car with family.

What Was Your First Car?
The first car i remember travelling in was a Honda Accord.

Favorite Drink:
Plain water from the well at home in Kerala

Finish This Statement, “If I Had The Time I Would …..”
do so many things. There is so much I'd like to try out new in life

Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?
Not very hot on eating veggies....

If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Colour, What Would Be Your Choice?
There's nothing stopping me now....i don't want to. My hair has a natural copper shade...due to lack of oil

Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In.
Including holidays: Bonn, Cologne, Frankfurt, Hildesheim, Netherland, Trivandrum, Bangalore, Chennai, Ooty, Mysore, Kanyakumari, Cochin...not exactly much.

Favorite Sports To Watch:
Gymnastics

One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
She's so lively and passionate about things in life.

What’s Under Your Bed?
Dust.

Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
Not too sure. I think, given a chance, I want to be reborn as an eagle

Morning Person Or Night Owl?
You mean, when i like being awake? Never.

Over Easy or Sunny Side Up?
Both are fine.

Favorite Place To Relax:
A swing would be perfect

Favorite Pie:
Warm apple pie with ice cream!

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Chocolate

You pass this tag to:
Jennysdad, Suyasha, Pravs, Iqbal, Cres, Sajesh

Of All The People You Tagged This To, Who’s Most Likely To Respond First?
No clue. The last one will be Pravs for sure.

Blessed are those with good friends

Friends are gifts from God. No doubt. Through the years I have been blessed with quite a number of friends who have a special place in my heart. I will later dedicate blog entries for them in chronological order, but right now I have to write about one of them...in my list of what i'd call "best friends", she's one of the latest additions....she's been in my life for 4 years now....well, almost.

You meet new friends in all walks of life. School, college, hostel, work....this particular friend and I crossed paths on the internet. Before you shake your head in disbelief about what a dumb thing it is to befriend people one doesn't know, let me let you in on the details.

Let me take you back to the year 2006. Armed with the new knowledge that I am expecting a baby, I decided that I will learn every darn thing about pregnancy and will not be clueless about anything. My search led me to many sites but the one I liked best was www.babyfit.com. It is generally an American site, but there are many women from all over the world (like me) who have joined and are exchanging their knowledge, experiences, problems, joys about the one thing we have in common....Motherhood.

Till Tim's birth, i preferred hanging around in my "due month" group - A group consisting of women expecting in Sept 2006, who are generally going through the same phase as I am. After Tim's birth, I started exploring the site a bit and chanced upon the "Indian Mommy" group. I had a warm welcome and was soon a very active member of the team. This is where I met this young lady, who became an indispensible part of my life.

The Alchemist (as she likes to call herself) and I realised that our birthdays were just 2 days apart and that we shared a love for Calvin & Hobbes and Garfield. Frankly, I didn't need much more to befriend her. We started mailing each other outside the website as well and were even soon known as the twin towers of the Indian Mommy team.

We "took our relation to the next level" on her birthday, when I called her for the first time and things just went on from there. There wasn't a thing in my life that she wasn't aware of and vice versa...We sent gifts and even cakes on our children's birthday and she was overjoyed for me when I told her that I was expecting again.

Now, there are often times in life when other things take priority. Children, work and all finally caught up with us, but a true friendship survives anything. I think there was a time when we were even too busy to mail each other apart from a monthly mail of "how are you and what's new". But nonetheless....we remembered each other every now and then and finally even found time to update each other regularly.

Now, Alchemist is living just around 5 hours away from my home, but....as you know...it's difficult to just pack up your kids and lock the house and go visiting....but we finally did just that. Last week, my 3 men and me went to Chennai and finally met my friend in person. We went to her home and ..... it felt like I was meeting her after a vacation and I just had to catch up with her. There was no awkward silence or silly smiles and chits with topics to discuss....we just got along great the same way we did over the internet.

I was glad that our sons all just started playing together and soon enough realised that their common language was English. They played and fought and shed some tears and watched TV, ate together and had a jolly time all together. Even Lindo felt like he knew them all when we finally got to meet her husband too. I am so glad that we finally made this meeting happen and I am so looking forward to having them over at our place some time soon.

A difficult decision

A few days back, Timothy called me a devil. Yes, you didn't read that incorrectly, he did indeed call me what you read.
What lead to this epiphany of his? The fact that I decided that it is more important that others think well of my children than the children thinking well of me.

His explanation was simple. The devil hurts people. Neither his grandparents nor his father hurt him. So, they all are 'good people' in his books. On the other hand, Mommy is the person who scolds and hurts him, especially when it comes to doing homework or sitting quietly during prayer time.

He might not have said what he did, knowing how I would have felt hearing it....but it hurt me a lot. I spent the last few days wondering and thinking about this. Was it really worth it? This disciplining? I could also choose to be in their good books. All I have to do is turn a deaf ear and a blind eye towards them when they are making noise and are hitting each other during family prayer and not caring about trivial things like homework, right? Simple!

But no, it isn't that simple. For me, it is also very important that no one looks at my children and exclaims "What rude children! Don't they have any manners?". That is important to me, maybe not for others.

I have mentioned in an earlier entry about what discipline means to me, especially in terms of bringing up children. I myself realised at a later stage that my father was doing me a favour by being strict about my upbringing. But even I grew up feeling bitter about having strict parents. Maybe so will my children. And maybe they will someday realise that I don't have anything to gain by people thinking that they are good children.

Till then, I will continue to be the bad mommy, the villain in their lives...and hope that it doesn't break my heart.

Recipes - Chicken Liver Pâté

Some time back, I promised my brother that I'd give him a recipe. Being the lazy person I am, I still haven't been able to type it out into a mail. So, finally I decided, why not share it with the whole world instead? The recipe is courtesy the 'Cook's kitchen handbook & 500 basic recipes".

Chicken Liver Pâté

Serves 6 or more
55 g butter
1 onion, finely chopped
340 g chicken livers, trimmed of all dark / greenish parts
4 tablespoon medium sherry
30 g full-fat soft cheese
1-2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
salt and pepper
55-85 g clarified butter

1) Melt butter in a frying pan. Add the onion and livers and cook until the onion is soft and the livers are lightly brown and no longer pink in the centre.

2) Add the sherry and boil untill reduced by half. Cool slightly.

3) Turn the mixture into a food processor or blender and add the soft cheese and 1 tablespoon lemon juice. Blend until smooth.

4) Add the hard-boiled eggs and blend briefly. Season with salt and pepper. Taste and add more lemon juice if liked.

5) Pack the liver pâté into a mould or container and smooth the surface.

6) Spoon a layer of clarified butter over the surface of the pâté. Refrigerate until firm.

Our vacation - Part II

The return journey

Finally those beautiful relaxed days at home came to an end and we travelled back to L's paternal home. This is when, I would say, the interesting part of our journey started. Instead of driving straight to Thrissur (like anyone else would), we decided to go there through Allepey.
We went to the beach (at 12 PM - another friend who's an expert on Alleppey - being a localite - said that only looneys like us would be seen there in that heat and I'm proud to say that we were not alone….at least :). The boys loved picking shells…..they picked quite a few of them and we finally left after having lunch at…you guessed it… Indian Coffee House just opposite to the beach.

The next day we decided to visit a few more relatives when L was bitten by the travel bug again and we turned a different direction to travel to Athirappalli and Vazhachal waterfalls. The falls were at their best, and it was definitely worth the detour. On the other hand, we winded up visiting relatives till almost 9 PM, because we got delayed.

Next day - The day of our journey back. Intended route - Thrissur -> Palakkad -> Coimbatore -> Salem -> Bangalore. Easy, right? And we nearly followed this route, till we saw a board that read "Coimbatore - 11 km". So we haven't been to Cbe yet, so why not deviate from the highway, go to town and then come back? We had nothing to lose. Cbe is a nice town (I am a bit confused as to the differentiation between towns and Cities….) but that's where destiny showed up again. Another signboard. This time with a message for us, "Ooty - (only) 90 km". How can anyone resist that? After a few quick calculations we decided to change our route to Cbe -> Ooty -> Mysore -> Bangalore. That's an approximate difference of 40 km, but definitely worth it.

I've been to Ooty once from college and I totally fell in love with the place. Okay, I didn't remember the hairpin roads that well, but still - the place is wonderful. The climate was divine. The boys were eating and having a party on the backseat - with fights at regular intervals, but generally fine.

We reached Ooty and called our respective parents to inform them about our change in plans. My parents responded with a mild "you guys are crazy". We had lunch at Ooty and drove through the town and left quickly because we had to come back home before it was too late. Driving through Bandipur forest we actually got to see around 4-5 wild elephants (small ones, I think though we heard a big one trumpet), 2 wild peacocks and one wild monkey.

Cutting an already long story short - we reached home by around 9 PM. Tired, but very happy….boys started school after one day's rest and we started office too. Life is back to normal and I am glad I finally got to write….

Our vacation - Part I

Hello to anyone who still has enough faith in me to check the blog!

I know it's been ages since I wrote. Well, I was out of town….rather out of state. We went home to Kerala….for 3 weeks (I know….long leave :)
Unlike last time, we had a pretty uneventful journey. L's parents accompanied us since they had a retreat planned in Kerala. We started our journey at 5:30 AM with a message from my brother whom we had sent off to Kerala by bus the previous evening (in a feverish state) stating that his bus has been stopped at Walayar checkpost (the Tamilnadu-Kerala border) since midnight. We briefly considered changing our route to travel via Calicut but then decided to stick to the normal route. The boys were…..okay, during the journey. We breezed through Walayar when we reached at noon time (Bro's bus was 'released from captivity' at 7:30 AM or so), had lunch near a place called Pattikkad (Advice for travelers, please do not go to any Indian Coffee House in that neighborhood for lunch after 2-3 PM)and we finally reached L's maternal home at approx 6 PM.

Children never show any tiredness after long journeys, probably because they get to sleep. They were their rambunctious selves at home. L's grandmother had a nice time having her first two great-grandchildren creating havoc at home. After a good night's sleep, we woke up in the morning, finished breakfast and left home. L's parents and we parted ways here since they had other plans. We went around visiting L's relatives and generally having a good time. (Advice for parents with little children who love planes - There is a place called Kallumkootam near Nedumbashery airport. It is basically one end of the airport property and the place where planes touchdown for landing. This is as close as you and your child can come to an airplane without having to go to the airport).


So after 2 days of criss-cross driving through Kerala we finally reached my home on the day of Thiruvonam. (Advice for people who love travelling through non crowded roads: Thiruvonam is a beautiful day to drive around in Kerala. It almost seems like a Harthaal day….except that vehicles COULD move if they wanted to. Carry necessary consumables because all shops are closed).

I will not be able to elaborate on what we did every single day of our visit, but I will give you an outline.

Trivandrum: Illuminations are beautiful during Onam. We were not able to see the illuminations at Kanakakunne palace because there was no place to park, so we went to the zoo, and drove through the city, had a coffee at Kovalam beach and headed to our cousin's place for the night. Next day we visited Veli for breakfast, Shankhumukham for lunch (Indian Coffee House ) and reached back home by evening.

On the personal front, we visited my old hostel and my college. We met my old hostel warden, Sr. Alphonsa and even Sister Breekas who was our Mess-in-charge.
The funny thing is that my warden recognized me even after 8 years. Not that I was a notorious hostler….I just seem to have left an imprint.

College was closed and empty due to Onam holidays.
I walked through the empty campus alone….just remembering places and people. You know, no matter how much we cribbed during our years there (5 years for me)…now that place is one of the best places, a place where I spent some of my best years. I made a lot of friends there….and I am thankful for all that.

L's parents visited us when their retreat ended and they left for Bangalore the next day. After dropping them at Chenganur railway station, we took a small break at Aranmula, the place where the famous snake boat races took place just two days back. We got to the see the boats, which look pretty much bigger when you see them with your own eyes.
Our next travel (these travels are not all on consecutive days….I am just narrating) took us to Munnar for a one-day trip. It took us 6 hours to reach the place, but it was surely worth it. Loved the climate, it was nice cool and we had a nice time there. We shopped for local spices and tea, had lunch, saw some more of the place and then returned home. Tiring, but worth it. Next time we plan to stay overnight and see some more of the place.
We visited a few of my friends' homes. My friends are not staying there (at the moment or anymore), but for me, these relations are not just with them, but even with their families. I met grandparents and parents of my friends. They were pretty surprised to see me…I guess it isn't very often that people visit their friends' relatives. We visited my school and met my old teachers and it was such a nice feeling to have your old (strict) teachers actually hug you and see them so happy to be seeing you. We took another short trip to visit my ex-headmistress who left school in '97 when our batch left school. The best thing was that even she recognized me even though it's been 13 years since we have met.


And oh yeah....in the meanwhile, I got a perfect example of grandparents pampering their grandkids. Guess what my Dad got built for the boys???

(to be continued)

Things that happen...

So i am back....few things happened in the meanwhile...Here's one of those things that was something I'd categorise as "Major" in my life...

The day Tim fell.

20th July 2010. It was a rainy evening. Lindo and I returned from office and after our usual hugs and welcome backs, we were collecting clothes and bags and tiffin boxes to call it a night and go home "upstairs". Tim and Nathan were so excited about us being back (as usual) and were going crazy running up and down (as usual) and that's when Tim fell (as usual), but the unusual thing was that he hit his head on the sofa leg.

I was in the kitchen, chatting with Mom-in-law, when the commotion started in the living room....i saw Lindo carrying Tim to the sink....Oh-oh.....not good, i said to myself and ran....i ran to see my little Timothy bleeding. His right eyebrow was cut. And there was quite a flow of blood. Lindo was washing off the blood....i ran for ice to keep on the wound.

Funny enough, Lindo had just recently attended a first aid training at office and had learned as my Dad confirmed later...first thing to do with a wound is to press against it to stop the bleeding....but then, when your own child is bleeding, who has a calm enough mind to think about what you learned?

We left Nathan at home and immediately took him to the doctor. Considering the time and the traffic on Hosur road, we decided to go to a hospital on Begur road itself. Tim had stopped crying by then and was holding a kerchief to the wound....on reaching there, they immediately asked us to go to the casuality...There, a doctor came and checked on him and told me what i was dreading....the wound needed stitches. Its bad enough that he fell and cut himself....stitches too??? I asked if he'd at least get an anesthetic, but no.....it didn't make sense, they said.

It's funny how prayers automatically come to you at times you need support....as I saw my 'baby' lying there, waiting for his stitches, I started reciting "Hail Mary"s....who else could give a mother strength to watch her child in pain than Mother Mary herself. I am sure that Lindo's parents were also praying at home...because when they came to do the stitches, the doctor came with a few attendants who were all holding him....his legs, his head, his hands....i was holding his feet....so that he wouldn't thrash around too much.

Surprise of all surprises was that Tim didn't move when the doctor started with the stitches. He winced in pain, his eyes filled up.....but nothing else. My boy was given strength by no one else but God. When the second stitch started, he said "It's hurting...." Everyone was surprised....I felt ashamed thinking about what a drama i make when i have to get injections.

Stitches over and he got an injection too.....he stayed home for the next 3 days and the weekend and was back in school on Monday. The stitches were removed last week....all's well. Just a little scar to remind us of what happened. He happily narrates his 'accident' if asked to....Nathan thinks that he's something like a war hero.

The photo was taken by an unknown friend's friend @ a resort at Bannerghatta and sent to me by his colleague who is my friend :) Thanks a lot, dear anonymous photographer....it's a beautiful picture. I love the concentration on his face.

A weekend of sorts...

This weekend was a very different one...

It all started with Jenysdad going out of town on a business trip....so what does a dutiful sister do? She volunteers to stay with Jenny and her mom. In the beginning the thought was very exciting, after all....that was where i lived before marriage...you know - those carefree days. But when "the day" actually came, i faced it with slight hesitation, mainly because this was my first night away from the boys.

For the first time in what seems like ages, i felt like i was reliving my memories. I got up early in the morning and was out of the house at 6:30 am, just the way I used to 5 years back. I started walking, got a rick and instead of going to work (it was Friday), I went home and was there to wake up my boys and wish them a nice day. Back to Jenny's in the evening, we went out window-shopping, ordered take-away and just had a nice time chatting with my sister-in-law. Speaking for myself, i enjoyed that a lot since it was the first time we spent so much time together.

My boys called me nearly 6-7 times in the evening. To wish me good night, to wish me good night again, to say God bless you, to say come soon.....a clear case of absence makes the heart grow fonder.

In the morning, post-breakfast we packed up and went home.....so the weekend was with a house full of children ranging from crawling baby to "almost teenager". The boys went out of their way to impress their little sister.....it showed a lot about them.


Tim was the more caring brother. He kept on coming to Jenny, hugging her and planting a kiss on her cheek. Everytime she'd coo at him, he'd smile and say "I think Jenny likes me!".
Nathan on the other hand, wanted to involve her in everything.....my ears are still ringing from his continuous "Jenny-Jenny-Jenny" calls trying to get her come and see what he's 'reading'. When the boys found a bug inside the house and were busy staring at it, Nathan actually moved and made space and told Jenny "Come. Look".....yeah, he needs to know that girls keep away from bugs. Everytime she'd cry, he would come running and ask "Happened?" (translates to 'what happened').

But what felt nice was that the boys were actually sharing their toys with her. No fuss about her taking what they were playing with, the moment we say "Get Jenny a toy", they'd literally be inside the toy box looking for age appropriate toys, and Jenny even liked playing with trucks!

It felt nice having a little girl at home. The sound of her anklets, the laughs....it felt nice. All good things will come to an end and so did the weekend. Jenny is back at her place. I'd do it again, if there was an option to... For now everything is back to how it should be....just me and my three men.

There's always a first time

We gave the boys a surprise the other day. And that too on a school night. We took them to watch a movie at PVR. Toy Story 3, to be precise. Some may think, what's the big surprise here? Well, let me confess.....my children had never been to a movie theatre before this. All the mvies they have watched have been on the PC at home so far. We never took them before for the fear of them getting squirmy and irritating others.

When Lindo and I (shhh....not many know) went to watch Avatar, we were struck by the number of kids that were there for the movie.....that day we watched the trailer of "How to train your dragon" and decided that this was probably the right movie to start their theatre going.....but we chickened out last moment....you see, Nathan loves movies only when he sees talking animals.

So anyways, last Thursday we went....we figured that half the crowd would anyways be kids....not many should be bothered by one squirmy kid. The boys were very excited when they realised we were going to watch a movie (the only person they knew who had watched a movie was Curious George - if he qualifies for a person). SO, in we went, armed with popcorn and other eatables.... The movie started....and we encountered our first problem. Tim couldn't see! Quickly found a solution. We put Lindo's bag on the seat and he sat on top of that. They ate through the complete movie. When the popcorn got over (around 5 minutes to interval), I heard Nathan from his father's lap....'popcorn.....more....'. Thankfully the lights came on and Lindo ran to refill our provision.

The movie got over at 9:10 PM....the boys were really happy. The movie was really nice. I mean, what more do you need? Talking dinosaurs and pigs, flying Buzz lightyear and what nots! Tim is already asking when we'd go again and we have told him that they admit one person only once for the same movie.....works for now.....we'll not be this lucky next time....

Doesn't time fly?

July 1st.

Today we complete 19 years of living in India....I always used to remember today as the day we came back, but today, I thought of it in a different way. We have officially reached the first day of the second half of the New year.

Where did time go by? We live looking forward to weekends that we don't realise that time is just passing by. I am already counting days to August so that I can go home to Kerala.

The boys are growing day by day.....every day Nathan loses another one of his baby words and learns a proper word. Soon, before you know it, we'll be out of baby words and all those things.....nothing we can do but cherish each one of these moments as much as we can.....I suggest all the parents should hold on to and cherish each day they have with their children and not will them to grow up faster. They will do that anyways....and we'll be left only with these memories....

I know, I didn't blog anything substantial, but when I walked around at home just now, turning the calendar pages, I had to say this.....

Ways to handle boredom at home

Come weekend, we usually try and do something for the boys...those who know me well, know that every Monday I answer the question "So, what did you do over the weekend?" with "We took the boys to the park!"....

We like taking them to the park or to playgrounds because they can play as much as they want to, they use their imagination while playing the sand and it gives them (and not to mention us) the necessary exercise.

This weekend, we did briefly consider taking them out to Lal Bhag, but for once, I felt lazy. Too lazy to move my butt out into the car.....to add to my laziness was the fact that it was going to rain for sure.....so we told the boys that we'd go some other weekend.

Sure enough, it DID rain but not very heavily and next, I find Lindo telling me that its a beautiful weather for going out. And we did something....I shooed the men upstairs to the terrace and went ahead and prepared a small picnic....nothing much, a few cheese sandwiches, crackers, milk and Nesquik, a mat and a blanket...put it all into a picnic basket (which I had been dying to use) and went to the terrace.....

We had a nice little "Picnic" in the shade....after filling our tummies, we lay down on the blanket, till new rain clouds rolled in and droplets started falling again.

It wasn't much, but the boys were happy (they actually drank half a litre milk between the two of them) and we all had, however short, a nice time....

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me....

As most of those who know me came to know, Nathan was not eactly very happy about the idea or being dropped off at school. He tried various locations for crying to get to stay home, but no....his parents were relentless and decided to carry on with this practice.

On the first day, he cried when I left school.....probably because he didn't expect me to be leaving him somewhere.
On the second day, he still had faith in me and cried when I left him at school.
The third day, his Grandfather went to drop him. He started crying when they reached tha gate of the school. See, he's a smart child...he understood the pattern.
The fourth day, Lindo went to drop him and he started crying when they turned from the main road towards the cross where the school is located.
The fifth day, he started off the moment I took a left turn from home, i.e. towards school.
The sixth day he wasn't well....and since we didn't want to try our luck, we let him stay back.
The seventh day, he woke up and coughed a few fake coughs and tried to stay back :)

This went on and on and on.....his grandfather realised that the best way to make him obey was to ask "Do you want to go to school?"

BUT.....suddenly on last Wednesday, he woke up and said "School!". When I asked if he wanted to go, he said YES!

Today morning he was singing "Pinkle pinkle little star"!!!!

Change is good....and I hope he continues to love it there.

Necessity - The mother of all invention

My boys aren't fussy eaters. Tim used to be, but Nathan is not. The only fuss he makes is when he doesn't get food. That's another story...

Being a mother, I am constantly thinking of ways to make regular things...interesting for them.
Today morning, i decided to make them a bulls-eye in a different way.
I took out one of my cookie cutters (the duck-shaped one this time), placed it on the tava and poured the egg inside. I closed it with a lid because it needed more time for cooking as this bulls-eye was going to be a thick one....

We turned the cookie cutter around so that the other side got cooked and voila! We had a nicely different shaped bulls-eye.

Needless to say, they loved it! Next time i can let them choose the shape they want :)

Our boys have grown

Today was a special day for us.
Nathaniel started attending an educational institute....No, no....not as serious as it sounds...he had his first day at play school today.

We decided to start sending him at the "tender" age of 2 because he easily gets bored in his brother's absence, when Tim is at school....so what better to do than get some education? The school in question is a two-minutes walk from home, located in the Sunday School Building of our parish church.

I had taken the day off because Lindo's parents are not in town....so, I accompanied my little son to face this new world, armed with tiffin box, water bottle, spare clothes in a Winnie the Pooh bag on his shoulders. And yes, a heavy breakfast in his tummy too. We left home after a short prayer, blessing both of them (Tim's school was also opening today) for a bright future.

When we reached school, we were welcomed by a tear- and snot-covered face belonging to one of the first timers who was already waiting for someone to come back and pick him, while he was vowing (between cries) that he's never ever coming back to school again (Sorry to break your heart honey, but fat chance!!!!). Nathan was a bit clingy....didn't want to go into class, but was more interested in playing on the slide. One of the nuns working there, took him by his hand, led him there and asked him to wave me bye-bye.....which he did gladly.

I was asked to pick him up at 10. Sure enough, I reached school at 10 to see two tear- and snot covered faces at the gate. One was crying "Mamaaaaaaa"...that was mine! It seems he had been playing fine but kept an eye on the guy at the gate....I think finally he decided that he's not doing something right and joined the fellow at the gate and started crying for me!

Once he saw me, he was fine....we played on the ground for some time....We even tried making conversation with a child...
"What's your name?"...."Kevin!".....hearing this one of the teachers tells me "His name is not Kevin, that's his elder brother's name" !!!! At least we taught Nathan to say his name (Ney-Tan) instead of his usual introduction (Baby).

Tim also came back after half an hour of Montessori.....full day tomorrow. Well yes, as of today, we officially have two children in school!

Blame it on the genes

Putting my sons to sleep, Nathan said a word that always brings a smile to my face....and I think "What all gets passed down through the genes!". This word gets pronounced in many ways by my two boys....and surprisingly enough, it is one of the first English words they learned.
This word is "Scratch". Nathan is currently at a stage where he says "Katche". Tim used to say "Catch...." and then "Ullile" to indicate he wanted me to scratch underneath his T-shirt.

Now you might wonder "what's so special about scratch?".

For me, it all started with my Dad. Most of the days (even now) we sit down to watch TV or even if he's just sitting and reading, he'll suddenly lean forward and call one of us and asks us to scratch his back. The longer the nails the better......we slowly learned that we could scratch in certain patterns so we cover the complete back very fast and be let off this particular duty.

But, certainly enough....the scratching bug got to me too....Lindo still doesn't understand why I enjoy having my back scratched once in a while....

When the boys a year old or so, I introduced them to the joy of having their backs scratched. I realised that they sleep faster, if you lie down next to them, hum a song and give them a nice scratching on their back....they love it.

Lindo accuses me of getting them into bad habits, but hey! It is really nice....and I have to say that it IS really cute to have Nathan say "Katche...." and turn his back when he's about to sleep.....

Apologies...

I do want to sit down and write something, I am not able to. When I sit in front of the PC...I just can't write. I think they call this a Writer's Block.

So, don't think that I have given up....I'll be posting my updates soon.

A good choice?

I am so glad I am not your son! The speaker of this sentence is one of my colleagues during one of our lunch discussions. The reason for the statement? I just told him that we do not have a T V. Yes, you heard me right, my 3 men and me, we do not have a television, by choice. At least by my husband's and my choice.

That doesn't mean that the boys are totally deprived of watching anything. The boys spend a good part of their week day with their grandparents, who have a TV. Tim knows various cartoon characters varying from Pokemon and Parman to Hattori and God-knows-what. They both like watching Animal Planet and National Geographic programs. At home, we have a computer...where they get to watch a fair amount of cartoons on CD, and things that interest them like wallpapers of trains and trucks which we show them as slideshows with music in the background.....weird, you think? Well, they like it.

Do I think that they are deprived of something? No, I don't. We try and have a timetable as far as watching stuff on the PC is concerned. Any other time, we try to get them involved in finger painting, block printing, card making, play-dough, cooking, cleaning, reparing....everything that we do. Tim has already managed to learn how to role out a semi-decent roti!

Another thing I know for sure is that we have a lot more peace at home now, than we would have had with a television. I for one, would be stuck in front of the box surfing between Disney, Cartoon Network, HBO and Star Movies. Not making a general statement but I know families where no one talks about what happens to them on a day-to-day basis because one or the other person is always watching something on TV...that is definitely not something I would like to have in our home.

For all I know, we may buy a TV at some point of time and the boys will stop being interested in joining us in the things they enjoy now, but right now, I am just happy with the way things are and would not want to change anything.
My boys may not be completely prepared for school conversations when everyone discusses the latest Disney serials, but on the other hand, I hope they come back home and we can sit and talk about the day and bake something they like...and go out on fun picnics on weekends and they don't feel that they are missing out on anything else.....

A few promotions...

I love having hobbies. I've always had one or the other, be in reading or jigsaw puzzles...I generally keep myself busy.
Of late, I have taken to paper craft.
I am not particularly good at it, considering that I can't draw and depend on anything I can copy or print. My dream is that one day I can decide that I have worked enough and that it is time to relax and do the things I like. I could maybe start a small business of handmade cards or other paper items.....it's a dream....but I hope it becomes true some day.

I have a special respect for people who make time in their day to day life to work on their hobbies. People who are so dedicated to doing something outside their routine work because they have a passion for it. And I sincerely hope and pray that they will make it big in those areas and show other people that it pays to follow your dreams.

Today I want to mention a few of these people I know, who have followed their passions. They deserve a special pat on their back for taking their dream a step ahead.....or even several steps, for that matter.

Vishak Panicker is an old classmate of mine who has recently released his first music album "Loveletter"...check www.loveletteralbum.com for more info. I remember Vishak singing during our college functions....a music enthusiast. Here's the link to one of his songs....

Another person I'd like to mention is Vipin V. He's my colleague and I was recently surprised when I got to know that he and a few other colleagues made a movie.....They actually made time in their busy schedules and did this! I hope that they have more ideas like this and come out successful in life....doing the things they love.
A few parts of the movie can be seen on Youtube. Click here

Chetan J deserves a mention. This friend of mine, who is also a colleague, is a budding photographer. He spends most of his free time out in the sun (as is the case in Bangalore these days) taking photos and coming up with wonderful results. He keeps on studying new techniques and hones his skills. His photographs have gotten selected for exhibitions as well.

Some may wonder what my motive is behind writing about them...(not that many are reading this blog). My only motive is to spread the word a bit on these people and do what is in my power to help them....At the moment, there is not much I can do....but I hope that I am of some help to them and that this will motivate them to carry on....

Honey, did i spoil the kids?

My father had been here to see his grandchildren; and while he was here last week, he witnessed Nathan refusing to apologise to his brother for hitting him, even though i repeatedly told him to do that. What did my dad do? He laughed.....he found it cute that his grandson was resisting and had a mind of his own! That's when i asked him whether we had ever spoken back like this....he thought for a while and said that the first time i refused to do as said was when i refused to do my post-graduation.....i was already 21 by then.....This got me thinking about the difference in our parenting styles.....

We had a strict upbringing. Not that we didn't have fun growing up, but there was a time for everything.
A time to wake up, to go to school and to come back. To do homework, to watch TV. To play outside, to play inside....everything was according to plan and hardly ever variied.
Our TV channel showed cartoons from 4 to 5, i think....and after that we played outside. And i think that i remember more about the games we played outside, the climbing trees for cherries and all those things more fondly than the time i spent in front of the TV. We used to ask for permission for switching on the TV, the computer and even for making phone calls. I still tell my parents before i use the phone when i am there....old habits, i guess.

Back to discipline.....when i grew up and started seeing the way a lot of people brought up their children, i started appreciating the discipline our parents instilled in us. The thought "If only this kid was mine, i'd give him / her a whack" crossed my mind ever so often..... My parents raised responsible children, my brother had to look after me for the half an hour every day from when my mother went to work till my father came back when we was not even 3 years old. We never questioned our parents, we never whined...openly at least.

When i got married, I was of the opinion that a baby should not be carried around a lot and that it should sleep in a separate crib. Basically, i had this ideology because that was how our parents raised us. Before long, Tim was born and i found myself unwilling to put him down even when he was asleep....he slept with us till his brother was born and then he started sleeping in his room with his Dad. My children whine a lot, they fight a lot and they know they can get away with a lot of things.....They get up when they want to (unless school is about to start) and sleep almost at midnight....

Our parenting is definitely different.....and my parents are definitely different grandparents who don't resemble the parents they were when they were bringing up their children years ago.....Even though i failed in emulating the parenting style my parents adopted, i hope to raise responsible children. I sincerely hope that some day my boys will tell me "Thanks for bringing us up the way you did".

What's in a name?

What's in a name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
~ William Shakespeare

I think it is time to introduce my 3 men. But i want to give them a Nom de Plume....or whatever it's called in the cyberworld. But what do i name them? Something catchy for sure... what about Knight names?

Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad and Sir God-knows-what...no, i didn't like the info that i get on these knights...i need something else! Something meaningful.

Dragon names? My boys would love that!
Google -> Dragon name generator -> What??? I can't even read this, forget spelling it out.

I checked and checked...Hobbit? Nah! Elf? No...Red Indian? Greek? Viking? Ninja?

I finally decided to name them: Lindo, Timothy and Nathaniel. Brilliant, right? Why change what is already good?

So meet my family: Lindo, Timothy (aka Tim or Timmy) and Nathaniel (aka Nathan).

And the first place……does not go to me

The second place in my family for a lot of things comes easily to me. Allow me to elaborate…

I was born the second child to my parents;
the second one to play with most of my toys;
the second one to leave home for higher studies;
the second one to have an email ID (you see how this goes?)

But then, I have not always been second in life….

I was the first at home to flunk a university exam (I passed the paper the next year though);
the first one to be employed;
the first among my siblings to get married;
the first one to have a first child;
the first (and still the only one) to have a second child too.

Back to being second…. I am also the second one to start a blog.

Believe it or not, I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for the past 2-3 years. In my mind, I have been writing amazingly funny stories and interesting narrations which never managed to be typed out. Of course, none of my reasons for not starting a blog were about being lazy….the time had just not come. Now, the time has arrived. And what prompted me? My sibling Jennysdad (the one who beats me to nearly everything) and who usually does not have the kind of patience for this, started a blog!

I am starting this blog now, just in case my younger sibling decides to start one before me. You see, I am used to being second….not third.

So here's to starting a journal online…and for the patience to keep on writing…and many nice things to write about…..Welcome to my world!