My elusive friend...

Sleep – A wonderful pleasure that most of us cherish. Many a times there is nothing that brings more joy than the very thought of being asleep soon, or waking up at night and finding out that there are couple of more hours before the alarm rings.

Quick flashback….. There used to be a time when I abhorred the idea of sleeping. Weekend or holiday afternoons during our childhood in Germany used to be preceded by a stern warning from Dad that if we do not sleep, then there would be no TV for us in the evening.

 I even remember this particular occasion that bro and I had been looking forward to watching this movie (Valhalla). As usual, Dad told us that in the event that we do not sleep, he’d not show us the movie. Being the obedient son that he is, Bro went ahead and slept, while I spent couple of hours tearing off the wallpaper on my side of the room, counting minutes as they went by. When I heard Dad approach our room, I quickly climbed under the covers and pretended to sleep. I waited patiently, listened to my Dad bending over Bro and then over me to check if we were sleeping and then I heard the door shut. I immediately jumped up to find my Dad standing inside the room – He noticed that I wasn’t asleep. And guess what? I didn’t get to watch the movie. Part of his parenting style, there were no empty threats. However, he recorded the movie (unbeknownst to me), and surprised me with it after 2 days and after he made me promise never to try and cheat again.

Since Bro and I shared a room, we also had the habit of telling each other made up bedtime stories. He would tell me stories of wars, machine gun sounds and bombs and everything to which I had to audibly nod every 5 seconds. The next day, I would narrate my story of fairies and princesses and unicorns. If asked to acknowledge that he’s listening, he’d assure me that he was….only for me to find him snoring by the time I finish my story.

Fast forward. We reached India and I discovered the joy of sleeping. Afternoon siestas on weekends and holidays and sleeping in really late during holidays (and I mean really late). Bro had a tough time waking me up every morning at 5 o’clock during my 10^th standard to ensure that I study (only to find me asleep on my books, or in the midst of a suspiciously long personal prayer half an hour later J).

Hostel life was a wonderful time. I used to get up at 5 on weekdays, but on weekends, I would get up only to eat and to attend calls from my parents.

I’ll cut short a long story, but I am sure you get my drift. I love to sleep and even having kids changed nothing about that. If the boys try to wake me up on weekends, I pull them into bed and scratch their backs and encourage them to sleep with me for a while.

Coming to Germany, I was really concerned about my sleep. What if I overslept? There’s no one to wake me up here…. And sleep, is one thing that I have not done after coming here. I go to sleep early (by 9 pm – so that I definitely get enough sleep) and I started off by waking up to the alarm at 5:45. Slowly, I started waking up earlier and now, I wake up at 5 or 5:15 even on holidays!

Now the reason I am writing all this? The time now is 23:20 and I actually went to sleep an hour and half ago….but was (obviously) unsuccessful. So I thought I’d put my thoughts down and that I’ll hopefully be yawning by the end of this (not a yawn so far). Maybe I will be like those grandmas who love telling their visitors that they just can’t sleep because they are so old. Well, I think I will head back to bed now and will myself to sleep….maybe I should try counting sheep….or ask Morpheus or the sandman to visit me…

I stand before you...

So I have completed 8 years in my company. We have a great training program and a department dedicated towards tracking the trainings that you attend. I am not a great fan of trainings, mainly because I prefer doing my work in whatever time I am in office. And since we’re not a technical team, the trainings that we have to attend are mainly soft skill trainings.

To cut a long blog short, let me just say that I have been successful in dodging one training in particular for all these years. Presentation skills. Now you might think, “What’s the big deal about a Presentation skills training?” Those who know me well, also know that I am not comfortable addressing a crowd. And when I say ‘not comfortable’, I mean that my fingers go numb, my voice starts shivering and all I want is for the world to swallow me when it comes to having to stand up and do something as simple as introducing myself in a crowd (I know, when I say crowd you must be thinking 100’s of people – well sadly that’s not the case; a crowd for me is as much as 2 people that are not my best friends).

Fortunately or unfortunately, the “training gap” finally caught up with me and I was forced to attend this training earlier this week. I even woke up and told Lindo that I was going to call in sick. But he made a very compelling argument (If you don’t go this time, you’ll have to go the next time. Might as well get over with it.)….now that made sense.

So I reached the training room, met the co-participants and needless to say as you might have already guessed (or otherwise what’s the big deal blogging about it?) I managed to talk in front of people I didn’t know. In the beginning I was shivering and worried but by the end of the 2^nd day, I was pretty confident.

Well, it might not be the same as when I will have to make a formal presentation and I am still in awe of people who seem to be able to do this effortlessly, but it was a huge leap for me. Yesterday I had to conduct a training for a few people from my team and I have to give credit to the training (the trainer and the other participants) for playing a big role in making this happen.

Coming around to what made me think so much about this and wanting to write about it is the fact that I hope that my boys will not face this kind of aversion towards performing / speaking in public. Children nowadays have the opportunity to do these things at a very tender age and this will definitely take away that huge monster that’s hiding in my closet – Stage fright. I hope they all make use of these facilities and implement them well in their lives.

Updates and thoughts on the new year

I know it’s been a while and I thought it was time for an update.

• I can finally do two things I like at the same time; I can draft my blog entry AND stay in bed now. Yes, I finally got my laptop after a long wait that was surely worth it.
• We got a TV. Not too great a news considering that we were very happy without one.
• The boys are growing up (that’s not new) and they are getting diplomatic too. (“Is mama pretty or ugly?” “You’re my mother!”).
• My mom had broken her arm and I left my men behind and stayed with Mom in Kerala for a week. That was definitely a milestone for all of us.
• I completed 7 years at work and I asked the management not to promote me this year because I wanted more time to spend at home since the boys are starting school this year and it is important that we can get them set in a routine. More responsibilities would not help me do that.

That’s pretty much what has been going on. The new year has been pretty much the same as it was last year. It doesn’t even feel like a “new year”. It’s just another year that will get over before we know it. But I do hope that it proves me wrong and turns out to be a great one.

Doesn't time fly?

July 1st.

Today we complete 19 years of living in India....I always used to remember today as the day we came back, but today, I thought of it in a different way. We have officially reached the first day of the second half of the New year.

Where did time go by? We live looking forward to weekends that we don't realise that time is just passing by. I am already counting days to August so that I can go home to Kerala.

The boys are growing day by day.....every day Nathan loses another one of his baby words and learns a proper word. Soon, before you know it, we'll be out of baby words and all those things.....nothing we can do but cherish each one of these moments as much as we can.....I suggest all the parents should hold on to and cherish each day they have with their children and not will them to grow up faster. They will do that anyways....and we'll be left only with these memories....

I know, I didn't blog anything substantial, but when I walked around at home just now, turning the calendar pages, I had to say this.....

Apologies...

I do want to sit down and write something, I am not able to. When I sit in front of the PC...I just can't write. I think they call this a Writer's Block.

So, don't think that I have given up....I'll be posting my updates soon.