Sleep is
eluding me again so I was rewinding and thinking about this year.
When the
year started, I was worried and tensed about leaving my boys for a whole year.
I was worried about missing out on important things in their lives. I worried
about missing my parents. I worried about how I would manage on my own.
Sure, I was
looking forward to the challenges / tasks I accepted, but then, for me there is
always a sort of apprehension about the unknown…
Surprisingly,
this year turned out to be amazing!
Yes, I DID
miss out on stuff with my boys. Tim lost a few teeth, started attending catechism
and started school. But on the positive side, my boys were so cooperative /
understanding about my absence. We didn’t have any “crying over video chat or
the mobile” sessions or any such situations. They tell me from time to time
that they miss me, ask me when I will be back…but other than that, my boys (all
3 of them) have been most supportive.
Thanks to
this year we were also able to spend some lovely time together here in Germany.
This is something I had never imagined earlier. We got to attend my best friend’s
wedding together, something that I had thought impossible. I even got to be her
maid (well, matron) of honor!
Yes, I DID
miss my parents. The longest I have spent without meeting them would be 3-4
months at a stretch. I missed talking to them for an hour every second day. I
missed spending Christmas with them.
But on the
other hand, I got to meet a lot of their friends and heard a lot of stories
about their youth. I connected a lot with my Mom on a personal level. I spent
quite some time during trips thinking about her. I was able to see things
differently, now that I am also a grown up, a mother. It helped me understand
her much better. I feel so much closer to her.
And yes, I
DID manage on my own. I was surprised myself, but I realized that my dependence
on others is not something that cannot be changed.
And most of
all, this year was MY year. This was my year to go down memory lane, to meet
old friends, to visit places and people and to make new friends. And I made
some wonderful friends. I am so thankful for meeting the people I met this year…for
the relationships that were forged this year. SO, so thankful!
So, ups and
downs – this year was a good one. I am optimistically looking forward to 2014!
